I thought my mother was joking yesterday when she told me that MMDA officers will be carrying bolo knives for self-defense. It turns out that MMDA is seriously considering implementing that.

MMDA chief Bayani Fernando said his office was seriously considering arming traffic enforcers with jungle bolos to counter the invectives and insults being hurled at them by abusive motorists.

MMDA is getting smarter and smarter *sarcastic drawl*. First we have the asinine u-turn scheme that clogs the streets, then we have that idiotic "Metro Gwapo" campaign which seeks to make Metro Manila a "handsome" city by 2010 (Metro Gwapito by 2008, Metro Gwapo by 2010!). Then we have the MMDA trucks brushing people with a huge wet rag to keep them on the sidewalks.

But this has to be their best idea yet. Knives in the hands of traffic enforcers! That will really make motorists and pedestrians feel safe. I'm sure all of Metro Manila will understand if an officer snaps and starts hacking and stabbing people who try to worm their way out of a ticket. But then again, I'm sure the gallant officers won't do such a thing. If they're ever faced with any insults, I'm sure they will only whip out their knives and wave them angrily, certainly without any intention of doing harm.

Looks like Bayani Fernando is going off his rocker these days.

In other similar news, Hello Kitty will be slapped onto the biceps of misbehaving police officers, supposedly to injure their male ego.